What’s the Issue?
Guys, if your lady is always getting on your nerves and doing things that frustrate you; if she no longer responds well to your romantic gestures or if she seem unappreciative of your hard work and sacrifice; or if you are losing her and don’t know how to get her back, and your relationship seems broken beyond repair, then this article is for YOU! Since this is such a painful and prolific issue being faced by millions of men, I will get straight to the point. The problem is you. Yep, you! Now, I’m sure this is gonna make a lot of men angry right off the bat, but I urge you to keep reading. This article could be life changing for you, and likely for your family as well.
Taking Responsibility
Marital and relationship problems have a variety of starting points, but almost all of them have a very simple “turn around” point: when one person takes ownership for their relationship and starts to work on the things that they can control. Your significant other, is not, I repeat, is not, one of those things you can control. So that leaves just you that you need to work on. And since you are the man in your relationship, you are the one that the responsibility falls on to start making a change.
It Starts with You
If you want to fix your relationship, it starts with you. Women tend to be highly responsive, and they will respond to the person that you are. Take a long hard look in the mirror fellas. What do you see? Are you angry all the time? Do you bring work frustrations home and take them out on your wife? Are you in good physical health? Are you the kind of man that you would expect a lady like your wife to swoon over? If you’re not, then it’s time to pick up the proverbial hammer and chisel and start sculpting the man that you know you could be.
To be clear, the man you want to be sculpting is not the man your wife wants you to be. It’s the man you will feel good being. The man you know you could be if you worked for it. Here is an example list to start thinking about.
The REAL “Honey Do” List for You
- Start eating right
- Start working out
- Do your tasks at home and at work with integrity and without complaining
- Get a life vision, and, with your lady, start moving toward it
- If you need it (and you probably do, whether you want to believe it or not) go to a counselor and get help untangling your mind and fixing or replacing broken paradigms and belief systems
- Build that testosterone. Women are attracted to confident men, and men feel better about themselves when they feel strong and masculine.
- Develop strong male friendships that you can turn to. Your wife or girlfriend cannot ever replace male friends.
- Get some hobbies that you enjoy, preferably something that you can work with your hands on. Make it something that speaks to you and that you can spend quality you-time on away from your wife/girlfriend. (Music, archery, wood carving, for some examples)
- Make more frequent romantic gestures to her, without expecting anything in return.
Here is a great Article from Healthline on fixing a damaged relationship. It adds things that are outside the scope of what I want to talk about, but I think it’s a good read, with good pointers.
Don’t Try to Fix Her
I know it may feel backward to not try to get her to fix her problems as well, and believe me, I’m not saying you’re the only one with things to work on here, but you cannot control her, and you shouldn’t try. As I said previously, women tend to be highly responsive to who you are. So be open about what you are doing, and talk to her. Let her know that you acknowledge that you have a big part to play in the health of your relationship, and that you are going to start working on becoming a better man.
Marriage Counseling
Lastly, guys, I know there are some women that really are abusive and unhealthy, and won’t respond to your changes. In this case, I highly, highly, recommend marriage counseling. Getting a professional third party involved who can give unbiased insights and advice can be invaluable.
Build Yourself
Before you throw in the towel on your relationship, start building yourself. Developing a habit of mindfulness and introspection will help here. All the change that you want to see in your life starts with you. Even if this doesn’t save your relationship, it will certainly help you attract the right woman in the future. Or if you’re single right now and reading this, consciously and carefully crafting yourself into a healthy, man will help you attract the right woman the first time. So don’t hesitate. Start shaping yourself into the man you know you can be. Remember, you are truly remarkable, and have an incredible purpose in this life…so start building!