Tag Archives: mental health

Work/Life Balance for Health and Wealth

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Grind, Grind, Grind

We’ve all heard about how important it is to grind, grind, grind, no days off, and all of that. If you want to live your fullest life, there is some truth to that. But should there be a balance between hard work, and rest and relaxation? Or should your whole life be one big push to the finish line…wherever and whenever that is?

Burn Out

Burn out is a real danger, and if you don’t take the time to rest, reset and re-calibrate it will definitely happen to you. I have been there, and it is a progress killer. In the end I was running full steam ahead on my side projects and side hustles for months at a time, but I was making no progress, I was becoming temperamental and easily frustrated. At some point I couldn’t get anything done and eventually everything simply ground to a halt. Funny thing, after I decided to take an indefinite siesta from my side hustles, my mood improved. My mental clarity returned, along with my motivation, and many mental blocks that I’d been beating my head against for several weeks deteriorated. I decided that I would get back on the proverbial horse, but I would not sacrifice my mental health in the process.

That decision seems to have made all the difference. I don’t work at a break neck pace and I still take enough time off to remember that I have things to enjoy, yet I am making far more progress. The “work hard now, relax later” mentality can be taken to a very detrimental extreme. I the end, you will not be able to relax at all, you will have just worked your life away.

Now that I’ve talked about how important it is to not overload yourself, I want to also make it clear that this isn’t an excuse to not push forward just because you don’t want to or because it makes you feel stressed. Stress is something to overcome, not necessarily shy away from. It is actually good for people to subject themselves to some stressors in life.

Time Off

What you want to do instead, is schedule your time off. I make sure that I have one day a week that I don’t work on my business life. Sometimes I’m a bit lax about it though, depending on how I feel. I might knock out a simple item because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. Just knowing that I have a day off coming every week helps lower my stress levels. It gives me the ability to focus on the task at hand instead of wondering when this work cycle will end.

Create a Life Vision

Another vital change that I made that makes me more productive and much less stressed, is that I created a life vision for myself. Part of my problem before, was that I was making goals but I didn’t have an overall plan. I ended up wasting a lot of time and energy throwing ideas at my life hoping something would stick, instead of knowing exactly where I want to end up, and referencing that vision for what plans and ideas would be the most effective, and which are just going to delay me or take me off course.

“All work and no play…”

It is hard, relentless and uncomfortable work going from where you are to where you want to be. Thoughtful planning and foresight combined with hard work and dedication is going to take you much farther than just hard work will. But if you want maximum efficiency, add in a rest day so that you life doesn’t become a chore. After all, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. You might get there with just hard work…but why would you want to? Take these steps to help you work better and not wear out.

  • Make a life vision and use it to guide what you work on
  • Ensure that you have time for R&R scheduled for yourself
  • Don’t make excuses for yourself, even though you are giving yourself the rest you need to not burn out.

Here is a good article about burnout. It covers more symptoms and strategies for those who are interested.

Keep on crushing your goals, don’t give up, and make sure you are taking care of yourselves along the way!

Achieve Real Happiness and Avoid its Evil Twin: Toxic Optimism

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Everyone Wants to be Happy

Most people spend their whole lives trying to achieve real happiness, and yet very few experience it overall in their lives. In fact, in many cases the people who chase happiness the hardest experience the most depression. We also live at a time in history where quality of life is at its peak, and more time and energy can be dedicated to being happy. Yet, in spite of all this, anxiety and depression plague an extreme amount of people. Why?

Happiness is Subjective

Happiness is subjective; by that I mean that the equation for happiness is different for everyone, and sometimes drastically so. But with the advent of the internet, and social media in particular, everywhere they look people are being told what will make them happy. A lot of money and research goes into convincing the general population that their happiness can be attained simply by buying, doing or believing x, y, and/or z. The truth of the matter is that no one can tell another person what they need to do to achieve real happiness. Doing so can deal a savage blow to a persons trust and belief in the possibility of achieving happiness. This is why the sages, shamans, and “wise men” of the past, taught their families and tribes to look inside themselves for their own unique “happiness equation”.

That being said, there are some specific variables in a happiness equation that are going to be the same for everyone. There are also methods for discovering your own happiness equation that have stood the test of time, but have been discarded in favor of lazier, more convenient promises of happiness.

Difficult, But Worth it

Making yourself a happy person is not a walk in the park! It requires you to be introspective, and brutally honest with yourself; It requires you to cut ties with things that feel good but ultimately prevent happiness long term. I know that sounds like a lot, but don’t worry! The journey itself is full of amazing experiences and chances for happiness. And lets face it, we will spend our entire lives becoming the fullest versions of ourselves, so no rush. Just take it one step at a time.

Toxic Optimism

Before I get into a few specific steps for starting your journey toward happiness, I want to offer a warning about Toxic Optimism. Toxic Optimism is a death trap for anyone seeking to achieve real happiness, but unfortunately, it is strongly encouraged by society. The idea here is that you can be happy by only thinking happy thoughts, and repressing or refusing to feel any emotion that seems to appose happiness. Many people even go so far as to call those other emotions “bad”! I’m sure that most people have heard of the “hack” that if you force yourself to smile, even if you feel unhappy, that you will feel happier.

While there is something to be said for this helpful exercise, it is not a standalone remedy for the blues. Especially if those “blues” are chronic like they are for a lot of people. If you think happy thoughts and ignore, temporarily, your negative emotions, you can give yourself a short term fix. This but is not a sustainable way to live though, and it does not bring you any closer to true happiness. In fact, it pushes you further away if it is depended upon too much. It is exhausting and eventually all those neglected, orphaned emotions come knocking on your door demanding attention. They don’t just disappear. This causes chronic stress and inflammation and leads to a host of physical, mental and emotional problems.

In order to be a happy, healthy, functioning human, you need to have complete access to your full range of emotions, and know how to interpret and use them. They are important, and the key to real, lasting happiness.

So, what is real happiness, and how does one become truly happy?

What is happiness

Happiness is what happens when you achieve harmony between yourself and your emotions and circumstances. When you are at peace with yourself, your emotions and circumstances, then you will be happy. I mean “circumstances” in a broad sense; they could include your relationships, career, living situation or anything outside of yourself that you have either no control, or limited control of.

Keep going forward!

People are at their happiest when they are performing well and improving. Nobody is happy when they are stagnant or lethargic or living at a quality of life that they know is less than they could achieve. But here’s the thing: you become happier by just moving forward toward your best life. You don’t have to be at your best life to be happy. If that were the case then no one would ever be happy, because as you improve yourself and your circumstances, your potential increases! It really pays to have a crystal clear life vision to give you a specific direction to go forward in.

A great amount of introspection and self reflection is required to be happy. Its a lot of work to reconcile all your emotions, be at peace with yourself, and learn to allow your circumstances to be what they will and only concern yourself with the limited amount you can control! I highly recommend that you find a coach or a mentor who can guide you through this process. Without guidance, introspection can have the opposite effect. Here are some things to get you started on your happiness journey.

Try these tips

  • Develop a mindfulness practice
  • Develop a life vision and move toward it
  • Work on your health and fitness
  • Make friends with your real emotions and learn how to interpret them
  • Become comfortable in your own, uninterrupted company
  • Develop a few close relationships with members of your own sex.
  • Stop judging yourself and start understanding yourself.

Best of luck!

These are not the only variables in your equation for happiness, but they are a great place to start. The rest is up to you! Dig deep, find out what you need to be happy and become the person you were meant to be!