Discovery and Practice

Here you are, reading and learning to better yourself. Good on you! Now, exactly how are you applying what you are reading? What changes have you made in your life, based on what you’ve learned about self development? For many of us, it’s easy to read excellent books, listen to amazing podcasts, and discover powerful, life changing tactics. The problem is, we seldom get further than the discovery phase.

I can read something, and just because I now possess that knowledge, I think that I have a handle on its application. This isn’t just a harmless miscalculation. Undermining the importance of putting self development practices into action makes us feel more secure than we are.

“How far have I come?”

As we go along learning and thinking that we are changing, eventually we’ll look at our lives and ask, “How far have I come since I started?” Then we realize… I am still sleeping in every day, I still don’t consistently work out, I still eat food that I shouldn’t, I still have that same attitude problem etc… The next thought is either, “this self development stuff is a sham, it doesn’t work”, or we start justifying being the worst versions of ourselves. Or, even worse, we turn against ourselves. We start condemning ourselves for being too stupid, too lazy, too anything. and then we begin the decent into depression and self loathing.

So, why do we default to learning without doing? It seems like the motivation is there, we’re excited about it, we want to improve ourselves, so what happens?

Habits, habits, habits…

Habit forming is a notoriously difficult task. Usually we not only have to build a good habit, but we also have to break an old habit. Sometimes we have to break more than one old habit, just to get one good habit made! Humans, by default, take the path of least resistance. Coincidentally, that is where we’ll find most of our bad habits hanging out. Good habits are almost always going to be things that go against our energy efficient (lazy) nature. They also take something like 3 whole weeks of consistent practice to solidify. So we are already running into time commitment issues, being forced out of our comfort zones, and doing harder things than we want to do in an already stressed out life.

One Step at a Time

One habit is relatively simple to take on. What derails a lot of people is trying to tackle multiple large habits at once! Instead of trying to change your diet, start cold showering, work out, read before bed, and build a morning routine all at once…just start with one thing and master that. Then move on. Life isn’t a race. It’s important to give ourselves grace as we go about changing our lives. Otherwise we’ll hit a wall and burn out. As long as you are even 1% better today than you were yesterday, then you are improving! And really, what’s the hurry? No one is ever going to be the perfect human, so why rush to an unreachable destination? Be patient with yourself, even if no one else is.

For more on habit formation and how to break old habits, check out this article from Psychology Today!

Patience, My Friends

Remember, it really is more about the journey than the destination. The road is where all the lessons live. So, work hard and smart, don’t bite off more than you can chew, and be kind to yourself. Patience is the secret to improvement.